Shag, Marry, Kill: Cereal Box Mascots

Marry, Shag, Kill is a game that has withstood the test of time. You just know that back in the day, folks were playing it with Plato, Socrates, and Aristotle. And so, allow us to indulge in this time-honored tradition.

It's time for Marry, Shag, Kill: Cereal Box Edition

Let's meet this week's contestants. They're all highly recognizable, sugary sweet mascots for some of our favorite breakfast cereals.

 Image via  Giphy

Image via Giphy

 Image via  Giphy

Image via Giphy

 Image via  Giphy

Image via Giphy

It was hard to pare it down to just three (no hard feelings Count Chocula, Toucan Sam, and Tony the Tiger!).

Read more: Shag, Marry, Kill: Saved By The Bell

Cap'n Crunch: This silver fox knows his way around a ship, looks incredibly fetching in a hat, and has worked his way up to Captain status.

 
 

Verdict: Marry. He has a stable job, and despite the fact that his cereal will shred the roof of your mouth something fierce, it comes in a variety of flavors, ensuring you'll never get bored.

Snap, Crackle & Pop: These guys are a package deal. The Rice Krispies trio provide you with a nutritional breakfast, three great sets of hair, and clearly have a strong work ethic.

 
 

Verdict: Shag! I mean, was there any doubt? Enjoy an energetic foursome with the Krispies boys. I am certain they'll leave you snap, crackle, and popping for days after.

Trix Rabbit: Oh, silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. The rabbit basically spent all his time coming up with poorly executed plans that rarely nabbed him some cereal.

 
 

Verdict: Kill. Sorry Rabbit, but you need to learn your lesson. Stop trying to steal Trix from those kids!