by Eve Vawter
The New York Times once described Kim McGuire as "Hatchet-Face" a hideously contorted floozy. I don't know about you guys, but this sounds like #StyleGoals to me.
John Waters' Cry-Baby is basically a much campier, funny, and vulgar version of Grease that has much better actors including Traci Lords, Troy Donahue, Mink Stole, Iggy Pop, and Ricki Lake, not to mention Amy Locane as a lovestruck teenager square who falls for some dude who used to be really famous and now we no longer wanna talk about. But it's Kim McGuire's portrayal of Mona "Hatchet-Face" Malnorowski who is the real star of the show, what with her threatening to cut everyone and her pretend saxophone playing and putting the T in tough, so hard she could eat nails for breakfast.
If you don't feel like wearing a skirt, you could always substitute some tight pants. Hysterectomy pants, I call them!
Read more: Get The Look: Maude From Harold & Maude
I get that the pregnant Pepper played by Ricki Lake is adorable, and Traci Lords is perfection as Wanda Woodward, but it's Hatchet-Face who's the coolest — she can pilot a helicopter and conduct a jail break, she has a dreamy boyfriend, and she doesn't take lip from anyone, especially when they pinch her ass from behind. She sums it up pretty perfectly during the court room scene in the movie when the judge apologizes to her for her face, and she replies: "There's nothing the matter with my face. I got character!"
Word up, Mona.