by Becky Vawter Herren
Today was long. Godfather long. Work, workout, kids. Long story short, I'm beat. I figured the inter-webs might be a good distraction from my feeling old-ness. I sensed a trend after 3.5 seconds: "looking and feeling younger." Well, I worked out today, which actually did zero to make me feel younger. If anything, it confirmed my agey-ness. I decided a more outward, esthetic approach might be warranted. So I pulled out all of my and my teenager's makeup and went to town feeling younger. Here is my play-by-play.
This is me. Au natural. Sans makeup. After a real day full of the above. I'm tired. Make me pretty. Make me YOUNG. Like, Rick Springfield concert-young. You hear me, right? First thing I notice is the huge dark circles under my eyes. That won't do. Taylor Swift doesn't have those. Lemme find my concealer. I'm gonna need a lot.
Nailed it. I'm good for days of no sleep with this stuff. OK, every magazine ad I see has winged eyeliner. And very, very pronounced eyebrows. My teenager bought me an eyebrow thingy from Sephora. Hold on. It can't be that hard...
Well. That's a bit awkward, but I get a little credit for drawing attention away from my concealer. I'm feeling younger. On the other hand, my 3-year-old just looked at me and asked, "What are you doing?" Obviously, I haven't reached young yet. I remember my teenager watching videos on how to create smoky eyes. I'm a dentist. I have great hand skills, right? Surely I can do this.
See, smoky can mean several things. It can mean sultry (young), or it can mean you look like you ran through a house on fire. I'll leave it at that. I swear I tried.
Wait! Now I remember. CONTOURING. Everyone is contouring. It's the new young. Did you know they sell KITS for this? Kim K. contours. Everyone contours. It gives you CHEEKBONES. Here we go.
I look pretty much exactly like a Kardashian. I need one more thing to complete my "look younger" makeover. Hot pink lips. Always a summer classic, no? A "pop of color!" Also, I know it's so social media to have pouty, full lips. I'm gonna knock this out for sure.
OMG. I did it. I feel radiant! Brb, gotta find my toddler who just ran away screaming. #younger #blessed
Becky Vawter Herren is a dentist, wife, and mom of four humans. She attempts to keep all those balls in the air on a daily basis. She also pretends to like exercise, but would rather take a nap. She and her family live in Southeast Kentucky.