I Let My 9-Year-Old Give Me a Makeover & Here's What Happened

by Avital Norman Nathman

I'm not really known for my makeup skills. On an average day, the only thing you'll see on my face is some tinted lip balm (and that's only if I don't have the free lip balm I got from my dentist on me). In fact, my actual "collection" of makeup consists mostly of stuff my grandmother sends me when she gets the free gift from Clinique at Macy's.

  My makeup stash. Don't be jelly.

My makeup stash. Don't be jelly.

So, it's not really that big of a leap to assume my 9.5-year-old son might know as much — if not possibly more — about makeup than me. I decided to put that to the test. I showed him all my makeup and told him to go to town. He was super into that idea.

  Can you tell he thinks he's won the jackpot here?

Can you tell he thinks he's won the jackpot here?

He picked up a Clinique box and asked me what was in it. I told him I had no idea. We opened it and I assume it's some sort of foundation? So, we went with that and he applied it to my forehead, nose, and cheek bones. So far so good.

  Not too sure where this is going...

Not too sure where this is going...

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My son then felt that lipstick was the obvious next step. Claiming no expertise in this arena, I figured it couldn't hurt to go that route. Instead of the neutral "Honey Gloss" or even the slightly darker "Spiced Apple," he made a beeline for the one lipstick I bought for Halloween one year. (I was R2D2. Don't worry about how that all worked out.)

I have to say that I had all the confidence from what felt like his steady hand while he was applying the lipstick, but not too sure about the final lip look. Definitely daring, to say the least. The young makeup artist seems pretty proud of himself.

  Look at that self-satisfied grin (him, not me, obvs).

Look at that self-satisfied grin (him, not me, obvs).

Next it was time for the eyes. I'll admit, I was nervous. Having a 9-year-old coming at you with a sharp pencil just seems like a poor choice. And yet I went there, so should I really be surprised with how it turned out? I think he was going for a smoky eye, but it just looks super bruised. To be fair, he did do the exact same thing on the other eye, so maybe this is just a new style of cat eye I'm unaware of? Also, I should get ALL the parent points for allowing my son to come at my eye with a pointy stick.

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  I do have to say that he has a very gentle grasp.

I do have to say that he has a very gentle grasp.

Once finished it took me a few minutes to really appreciate my new look. I asked my son where I could wear it. "A freak party," was his immediate reply.

I considered his response and decided that if I ever decide to release my inner Juggalette (I mean, Faygo isn't the worst drink out there), I'd make sure that he did my makeup. I'm no expert, but I'd give this a 5/10.

  Before and After

Before and After