Knowing how to dress as a middle-aged woman isn't always easy. I mean, sure, you know you should stick to greiges and beiges and taupes and Harry Potter's literal invisibility cloak so that no one ever has to see your repulsive form, but that leaves a lot of gray area to cover (Luh-hiterally, amirite??)
Now, Lisa Frank — designer of technicolor rainbow happiness explosion scenes worthy of gracing a Trapper Keeper if you had money (or a sheet or two of bitchin' stickers if you didn't) — has done us all a favor and made a sweatshirt that's just perfect for Olds. Here it is, and I will fight you for it.
While I'm at the Lisa Frank shop, I will spend whatever amount I should have otherwise allotted on fixing my wrinkles and covering my grays with these leggings, the subject of which once hung in my room in its fuzzy poster avatar:
I will be purchasing these, and I will be purchasing the huffing starter kit otherwise known as Mr. Sketch's Assorted Scent Markers, and if you need me I will be in my room using beauty magazines with feature pieces on what over 30s should wear to decoupage a Doc Martens shoebox of MASH notes.
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