How to Get the Bitchin' Kitchen of Your Dreams, 1970s Style

by Karen Miner

Image via AQUAOWL/FLICKR

Image via AQUAOWL/FLICKR

Ah, the '70s. When kitchens were chock-full of owls and mushrooms, groovy patterns, and plenty of orange, brown, and avocado green. Since every trend eventually cycles back, we thought we'd get a jump on designing that dreamy vintage space. Think of it — you'll be AHEAD of the trend. (Or 40 years behind, depending how you look at it.)

Here's everything you need for a bitchin' 1970s kitchen.

Start with something like this.

Image via Hilary/Flickr

Image via Hilary/Flickr

You want a lot of wood. Dark wood. Then, add in things like:

A stove in any color but white.

Brown, green, mustard yellow. They all work well to complement the rainbow of colors you'll have in your design scheme.

OWLS. Lots and lots of owls.

Let me make this very clear. You cannot possibly stuff too many owls into your kitchen. You can try, but it will never ever ever have too many owls. An owl-baby clock and an owl napkin holder are must-haves. 

Or mushrooms. Go heavy on the mushrooms.

Whether they're on your pots or trivets or cookie jars, you absolutely need fungi in your kitchen or risk getting kicked out of the club.

Wallpaper that is anything but calming or soothing.

Graphic abstract prints, bold florals, geometric designs that make you feel like you're going to have a seizure after a few glasses of wine... whatever you pick, make sure it's a BIG statement.  

Flooring. See above.

Much like wallpaper, we're not going for subtle here. Bonus points for introducing yet another pattern into the mix. 

Read more: Ugh, Stop Asking Me 'What's for Dinner?'

Cabinetfuls of Pyrex and Corelle.

Particularly a set of dishes in the Butterfly Gold pattern. Just remember: Pick something you like because as these are virtually unbreakable, you will have them for decades.

Sexy lighting.

Image via Zombie Leah/Flickr

Hang one of these bad boys above your dining table and cue the "bow-chicka-wow-wow" soundtrack.

This contact paper.

Image via Ethan/Flickr

Image via Ethan/Flickr

Your shelves should be lined with this contact paper or a pattern very similar. It is a requirement. Don't even think about putting your Corelle on bare shelves. (You should also have bedsheets in this pattern.)

These chairs.

Image via Alan/Flickr

Image via Alan/Flickr

Every vintage kitchen on the face on the earth has chairs like this. You MUST acquire these chairs.

This cutting board.

Image via WikiCommons

Image via WikiCommons

If your kitchen doesn't have a pull-out breadboard that looks like it's already been used for approximately 97 years, with deep gouges and burn marks and a huge worn spot, you're fired from the '70s. 

What vintage throwbacks do you have in your kitchen, and what do you miss? (For my money, I'd take one of those breadboards... instant extra counter space!)