by Eve Vawter
In honor of it being October, we're introducing you to some household ghosts you may not have heard of... Check back all month to see what regular things in your house might be haunted.
Hi, I'm a ghost. I haunt the scallions you bought last week that you were going to use in that recipe you found on the Epicurious website called Garlic & Rosemary Grilled Chicken with Scallions. OooOOoooooh, I'm a ghost but you ordered pizza instead, and you forgot about me when you could have used me to make a tuna fish sandwich — but I was forgotten. Also, you are out of Miracle Whip but it doesn't matter because everyone knows that you can't make tuna fish when someone has gotten bread crumbs all over the opened jar of Miracle Whip. Ooooh, I'm a ghost and I live next to that open bottle of hoisin sauce you have had in the fridge for three years that you will never use, and one sad wrinkled brown grape that fell out of the grape bag that you still haven't thrown out, and oooo I'm a ghost. Also, your milk is going to reach the expiration date next week. Ooooooo, I'm a ghost.