7 Hot, New, Hip Clickbait Headlines for Your Old Lady Life

by Eve Vawter

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Images; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Images; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

As someone who works on the Internet and lives on the Internet and reads a ton of shiz on the Internet, sometimes I cannot help but LOL (wait, this proves I'm old because the young, cool kids don't say LOL anymore) at the headlines on lady websites. And that made me wonder what these headlines would look like as presented about our own boring lives. Here's what I came up with. 

#SquadGoals

Image via Pixabay; Modified by Maximum Middle Age

Image via Pixabay; Modified by Maximum Middle Age

At our age, what new people are we meeting that we want to make join our #squad? Divorce lawyers? That person at the coffee shop who gives us a muffin? Our drycleaner? 

Because You Have No Idea What That Is

IMAGE VIA PIXABAY; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA PIXABAY; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

So. many. websites. want you to GAF about things, or give you reasons why you DGAF about things, when in reality we just don't care either way, and we are old enough to know better that this acronym is used by editors because advertisers aren't too keen on the F word in headlines. Plus, I have never watched PLL. :( 

Don't Know, Don't Care

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Images; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Images; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

LOL (again). I don't even Snapchat and those filters you see of people turning themselves into deer are stupid and scary and the opposite of cute. 

#StyleGoals

IMAGE VIA Free Stock Photos; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA Free Stock Photos; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

Where do you get your style inspiration? From movie stars and fashion magazines or from the person shoving your breast between two freezing cold metal plates? 

Tragedy

IMAGE VIA PIXABAY; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA PIXABAY; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

You gotta love the clickbaity scandalous nature of "It Happened To Me" articles. Sadly, not much of anything happens to me. 

ZOMG

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Pictures; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Pictures; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

...she woke up 30 minutes later because she had to pee. 

Yup

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Images; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

IMAGE VIA Public Domain Images; MODIFIED BY MAXIMUM MIDDLE AGE

So many of these "unpopular opinions" turn out to be something that just isn't that unpopular at all.