I love Pokémon GO, you love Pokémon GO, we all love Pokémon GO. But I can't help but think when I'm wandering around looking for the Pokémon that this game would be so much more fun if it was geared towards.. you know... me. Or other grown-ass adult people like me who would probably have more fun catching the following rather than a Pidgey.
What if in Pokémon GO you stumbled across a big wad of money and when you caught it you actually got to keep it? Yeah, sign me up for this game — Mama needs college tuition.
Oh, what's this I have found in my Pokémon Go travels? A big bottle of vodka? OK Pokémon, if you insist I will collect this and drink it — thank you.
Oh look what we have here, a giant cupcake bigger than my entire body. OK thank you I will catch 'em all.
A Nice Kitty Cat
D'awwww, it's a kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty. Here kitty kitty. You are the best Pokémon ever and much better than that Mew fucker.
A Tropical Vacation
What is that you say, Pokémon? If I find this I get to go on a two week tropical vacation all by myself with no work and no kids and no housework and lying on the beach and sleeping in? OK! Sounds good to me.
It's the Rarest Pokémon of All: The Idris Elba Pokémon!
You found him! Now you have won the Pokémon game and get to hang out with Idris all the time! Yay you!