by Karen Miner
The Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte returns today and the masses are whipped up into a frothy fall-spiced frenzy over the news. But real PSL fans know that it's not just about that coffee lifestyle. If you want to live that pumpkin spice life, you've got to go all the way. We're not just talking about M&Ms and Cheerios and Oreos either. We're talking a total infusion of pumpkin spice. Like so*...
1. A fall-flavored Whopperito, because you probably can't make a Whopperito much worse anyway.
2. Festive kitty litter, because cats like fall too.
3. Tampons, because... No, wait, that's probably a really bad idea.
4. Bleach, because it's not at all dangerous to make bleach smell delicious and like you might want to drink it. (Yes it is.)
5. Doritos, because powdered cheese goes with everything.
6. Sausage, because if ever there was a perfect breakfast meat, it's pumpkin spice sausage to go with your PSL.
7. Top Ramen, because it probably tastes exactly like all the other flavors anyway.
8. Deodorant, because there's nothing better than the sweet smell of pumpkin spice mixed with b.o.
9. Wine, because when you're drunk enough, it might taste JUST RIGHT with candy corn and the pumpkin spice Doritos.
What are you waiting for? It's September 1, and you've got a lot of pumpkin spice-ing to do.
*We are aware that some of these products are not real, but pumpkin spice-lovers can dream, right?